Before I can share the story of my graduation I need to explain what's been happening over the last eight months or so. As you may have guessed, I did not keep my "New Years Resolution". Soon after my "Time to Make a Comeback" post, things really started to get tough. I had up to two maths assignment a week, which normally was no bother but these modules were not as straightforward as they appeared. I thought that because I was doing them the second time around that this would make them slightly easier and although this proved to be true some of the time, the rest of the time I found myself completely lost. Looking back on it while I had nothing but job applications to fill and options to explore, it sounded like pure bliss but at the time it was hell. I spent most of my time in the Maths Support Centre (MSC) pulling my hair out and lost plenty of sleep because I knew I didn't have enough time to spend on my maths assignments, chemistry modules and a thesis on top of that. I felt that I had to prioritize my continuous assessment over study for my final exams. There was really no winning.
On the morning of the 12th of May at 04:15, I'll be walking in Darkness Into Light in Maynooth, Co. Kildare...
It turns out finding the time to write is difficult. I want to say that I'll make a better effort in future but I don't like making promises I can't keep. The bottom line is that life gets in the way of writing about it so I'll just write when I can and you can read when you can, or not. What has spurred my interest to write again? Edinburgh airport. I was over visiting a close friend, Chris, who is studying at Edinburgh Uni and sitting in the airport waiting for my return flight gate to be announced I desperately needed a distraction. I hate to not finish what I started so here's the first of hopefully many trips to Edinburgh.
I spent a lot of time over the summer thinking about what my first blog post would be about. The function of this blog was not just to be my outlet but to help others who may have been or could currently be in my position. For me, reading about other people's experiences especially with something like anxiety or depression is very comforting. The most terrifying aspect of struggling with mental health is that feeling of being alone. Not just alone like there's no one around but alone in how you feel. As if no one else has felt the way you do now and that no one understands. It makes you feel insane. It's claustrophobic. There's no way I'm alone in feeling alleviation reading the stories of others' so this is my way of contributing and helping myself.
"Promise me you'll remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than I think" A. A. Milne